Arms Of The Ocean
by EverchangingWords
Summary: Tragedy is always hidden. Her tragic story is one to remember. Maybe her obsession with the ocean was a prediction. Maybe it was her turn to run, to scream, when they all saw the brokenness of her eyes. But she stood still and endured. She watched as her life fell to ruins. It was time for her to spin the web of tragedy known as Amaryllis, the tale of the Mudblood with eight names.
1. Chapter 1: Never Let Me Go

**A/N: Hello again! I know it's been awhile, but I'm having issues with the writing challenge I have myself and extended it. This is a new fic, I wrote this chapter in about 24 hours and hope to do a lot with it!**

**This chapter might seem like it has nothing to do with Harry Potter, but it has a lot more starting next chapter. This is just an introduction.**

**Warning: Chapter is about attempted or successful suicide and death.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned the series it would be short and sucky. Therefore I do not.**

**Please read and review! Enjoy!**

**_{AOTO}_**

**_Arms of the Ocean_**

_And it's breaking over me_

_A thousand miles down to the sea bed_

_Found the place to rest my head_

_-Never Let Me Go, by Florence + the Machine_

**_{AOTO}_**

Amaryllis Mika Aurora Acacia Ariadne Hyacinth Calliope Idona felt at peace. It seemed strange. Most people would be shaking or crying or second guessing.

But this was her new beginning.

Maybe people would remember her by her long, beautiful, poetic name.

Amaryllis: To sparkle

Mika: God's child

Aurora: Dawn

Acacia: Thorny

Ariadne: Most holy

Hyacinth: A type of flower

Calliope: Beautiful voice

Idona: Renewal

The only hint of darkness was Acacia, thorny, but the rest was poetic in every way.

Maybe Amaryllis was more like an Acacia than any other name of hers. Maybe they needed to look past poetry. Maybe they needed to move the thorns over and get past the little pricks. Maybe they needed to bleed to help her. Maybe they didn't care.

Maybe they were the reason she was there, on the tiny baby blue dingy that looked as though it would sink at any second.

Maybe they were the reason she was finally calm, but only on this setting.

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Maybe they would find her, maybe they would not.

Maybe they would look for her.

Maybe they would remember her.

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

**_{AOTO}_**

Amaryllis looked down at the sparkling ocean.

Amaryllis- to sparkle.

She saw the rolling waves in the distance, the stony harbour she came from.

The moon reflected off the choppy water. Seaweed floated in patches here and there. Fish swam by in schools every few minutes.

She felt the dingy swing back and forth underneath her. A breeze _wooshed_ by. The sound of the crashing waves against the harbour filled the air.

The salty smell in the air was comforting. Intense, but clean. Not overwhelming.

Pure.

The winds picked up and whistled louder in her ears. The dingy swayed back and forth, quicker and quicker. Water lapped over the sides and began to fill the boat. Slowly, the water level rose within.

Larger swells welled up and beat against the dingy constantly.

Bigger they grew. Bigger and bigger and bigger.

Dark clouds rolled in, covering the moon.

Bigger, bigger, bigger.

Peace began to overtake Amaryllis. It was sad, her calmness. She was no brave soul, she was a coward. And yet, this calmed her. This was her homestretch, her happiness.

A small smile sprouted on her lips. It grew to a grin. It overtook her face. And she began to laugh.

"I'm coming home, Daddy. To you, and Mika, and Aurora, and Ariadne, and Hyacinth, and Calliope. I'm coming home!" She exclaimed.

You may be thinking that those are her middle names. In reality, her name was just Amaryllis Acacia Idona. She had taken the names of her late sisters as her own.

She had twin sisters that were still alive, Aster Topaz and Clover Olive Idona.

Maybe they would wonder about her.

Too late, too late. Far too late.

Maybe speaking out loud had jinxed her. She always jinxed herself by straying from her plans in one minuscule way. Maybe this was it.

Amaryllis's pretty emerald blouse and dark blue jeans. Her favourite sweater-amethyst- had American quarters from her collection sewn into her pockets to weigh her down after she gone underwater, and keep her there. She had done precise measurements with the equation: her weight (_h_) + weight of quarters (_q_) = enough to hold her underwater (_u_). Basically,_h+q=u. _

Amaryllis took off her emerald and amethyst polka-dotted gloves to reach down and touch the water. The gloves were hard to remove because they also had quarters stitched in, along with her blouse, jeans, and amethyst with emerald scribbles Converse.

The water felt cool on her skin compared to the hot, humid night and whistling winds.

The water felt... Right. It felt comfortable and fitting. Amaryllis had chosen the right place to die.

Her father was right- she would die in water.

The dingy rocked back and forth more, and more, and more. The tipping caused an imbalance in Amaryllis.

She giggled and briefly hit the water with the arm.

Her shoes and white socks were soaked. The water level had risen in the dingy to a point that all the way up to mid calf on Amaryllis was waterlogged. Her arms and hands (she had put her gloves back on) were continually getting wet when she hit the water. Her carefully curled sandy-blonde-with-brown-streaks hair blew in the wind and whipped across her face.

She giggled again.

Rain began to fall from the clouds softly, but the moon peeked our, just a sliver, trying to escape its cage.

The rain rolled down Amaryllis's cheeks like tears. Her hair was beginning to get wet, her curls loosening the damper they became.

She began to hum to Never Let Me Go by Florence + the Machine, one of her favourite songs.

"And it's breaking over me

A thousand miles down to the sea bed

Found the place to rest my head," she softly sang in her partially tone-deaf way. A pretty voice always off-key. It sounded ugly to everyone else, but she didn't notice.

She didn't mean to sing, either. But she couldn't help it, she loved singing.

Amaryllis's eyes blinked slowly, closing for more seconds each time. She was tired.

She had left home at 10:07 P.M.

A specific time in which her mother and twin sisters were in deep sleep.

Looking at her waterproof leather watch, the strap rainbow and the small watch face having a yellow smiley face and large numbers, you could easily read the time as 3:33.

She had arrived at her preplanned location at 1:27 A.M. The time had flown, with Amaryllis staring at constellations and the water and thinking.

Now was prime time. The perfect moment to slip over.

The water in the dingy was up to her knees now. The swells were filling it faster and faster. The rain was falling harder, causing her hair to fall out of the beautiful curls that nobody else would see, anyway. Even if they had found her.

Amaryllis shifted so her feet dangling over the edge of the dingy and skimmed the water.

She pushed herself more and more, until she was sitting atop the nearly sunk dingy's edge.

One pushed, and she would be there. One push and there was no going back.

One push, one push, one push.

So close to the end, so close to Daddy and Mika and Aurora and Ariadne and Hyacinth and Calliope.

So close, so close, so close.

The rains had started to lighten again. The moon peeked through the clouds and stars appeared.

It was beautiful. For a last moment, it was perfect.

"Goodbye," Amaryllis whispered, before exhaling and pushing herself completely off the dingy.

She hit her watch against the dingy and it broke.

The intense cold hit Amaryllis hard as soon as she was submerged. Her eyes were wide open, no matter how much they stung, staring at the coral far below. A school of violet and yellow fish hurried past, late for a meeting.

The dingy was lifting out of the water, after losing the wight of Amaryllis, water draining after she had nearly tipped it in her jump.

She could still see the the moon and the stars above her. It looked just as beautiful as when she pushed herself.

Her empty lungs began to ache slightly as time passed.

_Sixty_, she counted in her head.

She sunk lower and lower, closer to the dark reefs below, but still so far away.

Waves began to shrink to small laps of water pushing itself along

Pressure began to rise and hurt slightly. The ache in her lungs persisted.

_One hundred twenty_.

Her eyelids began to close. The cold felt sweet. A beautiful release with no need for the words that swarmed through above, words that had taken her father and five of her seven sisters.

She was simply counting. The arms of the ocean hugged her close and protected her from the swords and arrows that would pierce her skin up above. The arms of the ocean covered her and kept her from bleeding or burning. The arms of the ocean taught her to breathe the water and relax into nothingness.

She was slipping deeper and deeper, and the aches and cold began to fade as her body numbed, thanks to all the factors of cold, pressure, and suffocation- all the pains that were leaving were the cause of numbness. Funny how that works.

Her eyes were completely closed now, the beauty of above and below still frozen in her mind, the last sights she would see.

Her hair floated all around her, the calm on her face giving off an angelic look.

The last thing she thought was:

_No, I'm not giving up. I'm just giving in._

All left Amaryllis's mind.

She was unconscious.

**_{AOTO}_**


	2. Chapter 2: Wonderland

**A/N: Hello again! Welcome to the next chapter of AOTO! You know, the acronym for Arms Of The Ocean. Aren't you all excited?**

**Shout out to BlueRivers for being my only reviewer so far! Cookies for you! (::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)**

**Disclaimers: Are pointless. You already know I didn't write the series yada yada yada.**

**Enjoy! Please review!**

**{AOTO}**

Ch.2.

_Flashing lights and we  
>Took a wrong turn and we<br>Fell down a rabbit hole_

_-Wonderland, by Taylor Swift_

{AUTO}

The sound of the motor chopping cut through the silence of the night and the calmness of the ocean.

"'Ey, Demetrio, ya see dat dingy too, don't'cha?" A man with a scratchy voice asked his helper.

Demetrio grunted in reply.

"Wonder what it's doin' out 'ere," the man wondered.

"Probably lost, Abe," Demetrio replied through grunts.

Their motorboat's engine stalled and their tiny boat- just larger than the dingy- stopped.

"Darn it," Abe shouted, moving over to fix the engine.

He stopped. There, a few meters under the surface, was an unconscious girl. Her soaked clothing seemed to drag her down, the lights if their boat shining in her calm, angelic face with beautiful blonde hair splayed around her like a mane.

"Demetrio!" He shouted.

Demetrio saw the girl and immediately called the police, telling them their situation. Meanwhile, Abe hauled the blonde haired teenager out of the water and gently laid her across the floor of their small motorboat.

"Chest presses, Abe," Demetrio instructed after talking on the phone for a bit.

Abe began to work on administering CPR to the girl. Three minutes later, a very large amount of water had come out of her lungs, probably a gallon, and she was taking shallow breaths.

A speedboat zoomed up. Uniformed police and hospital workers carefully pulled the girl into their larger speedboat.

The doctors and nurses began even more CPR. The police interviewed Abe and Demetrio, asking what they were doing, how did they find her, etcetera.

"Why were you out here?" The officer asked.

"Fishin'," Abe replied.

"Why did you spot her?"

"Engine problems."

"Was she unconscious when you found her?"

"Completely.

{AUTO}

"Thank you," one police officer nodded, dismissing Abe and Demetrio.

The two men climbed aboard their own boat and went back to the stony harbour, scarred for life and afraid of the ocean.

{AUTO}

Amaryllis woke up.

In a pristine white hospital.

Hooked up to an IV and breathing machine and monitor and too many other devices.

Amaryllis had woken up.

She had woken up.

Her recovering body began to hyperventilate, causing a hacking cough that hurt her throat and brought up seawater.

A nurse scurrying by stopped and stared at her before writing in a clipboard and calling out to a few others in the room.

Too much, too much. This was why she wanted to leave.

The noise hurt her head.

Too much, too much, too much.

Her vision went black at the edges. Her stomach and chest hurt and she could feel her extremely shallow breathing.

Faster, faster, faster.

A cough.

Faster, faster, faster.

Quickened beeps from the machine.

Faster, faster, faster.

Amaryllis passed out.

{AUTO}

To backtrack a little.

Anaïs Idona could not sleep after she awoke at 3:30 AM.

She decided to wander around the flat, maybe grab a snack in the kitchen.

First, though, she went to check on her kids; a habit she had had ever since...

No. Forbidden topic.

The twins were sleeping peacefully, their identical blonde hair splayed across their pillow cases, one for each of their favourite colours. Aster loved amethyst and Clover adored emerald.

Amaryllis chose them both.

Speaking of her older daughter, she went to check her room.

Closed door, normal. But no light... She was normally reading or writing or drawing at this time of night... Odd.

Odd, odd, odd.

"Amaryllis?" She whispered quietly as the door creaked open.

No reply.

Soft yellow light cast shadows into the room from the hallway.

No lump on the bed.

Paranoia from her husband's and daughters' deaths immediately jumped into action.

Where was she? Did she pull a Jessamyn? No, she promised.

Promised, promised, promised.

That was until she found the note.

Screams and sobs tore from her mouth. Aster and Clover ran in and read the note.

Mrs. York from 216, across the hall, pounded on the front door to their flat. Numbly, Aster and Clover went to let her in, clinging tightly to each other for comfort. Just as in Jessamyn's case, but the was no Amaryllis to hold them this time.

This time, it was Amaryllis's turn to be Jessamyn.

The twins came back in, still silently crying and letting their mother scream.

When Mrs. York saw, she understood immediately, having been there during all the deaths and with Jessamyn.

She called to police, screaming at them over the phone. She hadn't been gone long enough to file a missing person's report and so on, so forth.

Time passed with screams and tears.

The clock on Amaryllis's wall read 3:47 when the call came in.

"Excuse me," the crackling voice said, "is this Ms. Anaïs Idona?"

A near silent "yes" escaped her lips.

"Well, this is Detective Alcott. You are the mother of Amaryllis Mika Idona, correct?"

"Her full name is Amaryllis Mika Aurora Acacia Ariadne Hyacinth Calliope Idona, yes," Anaïs's shaky voice corrected.

"She was found drowning off of Asphyxiation Harbour. She was submitted to Asphyxiation hospital's ER. We ask that you come and bring only immediate family."

The phone beeped in her ear- a signal that Detective Alcott had hung up.

Mrs. York went twice the speed limit and never stopped the whole way there.

The Idonas were too numb to say goodbye, and Mrs. York drove off into the night as the trio of girls stumbled inside the building.

{AUTO}

MEANWHILE, IN OTTERY ST. CATCHPOLE

An owl flew in as all the Weasleys sat down for breakfast, and landed on top of Fred's head.

George laughed and got the bird down, and proceeded to untie the letter. His eyes skimmed over the words for a few seconds before stopping completely.

All emotion left his face. There was none left. Zip. Zero. Nada.

Fred eased the letter out of his twin's hands, and had the exact same reaction.

Ginny, in return, tugged the letter out if his hands and began to read out loud.

"_Dear Fred and George Weasley,_

_"We know that you only know us through our sister, Amaryllis M. A. A. A. H. C. Idona._

_"We are writing to you because last night, or early this morning, at three thirty AM, she tried to drown herself off the nearby harbour. You know, in out town of Asphyxiation. Ironic, huh?_

_"She's currently in the ER. You are allowed to visit. We're sorry to be the bearers of bad news. Luckily, Ama was found just in time and is doing great. She's stabilised and has woken up once._

_"Ama's twin sisters,_

_"Aster and Clover Idona."_

Silence fell over the table. If it were anybody else, the twins could help dull and lighten the pain.

But there they sat, as stony as the harbour Amaryllis attempted to drown herself off of, incapable of anything.

{AUTO}

The second time Amaryllis came around was a week later at three AM.

Both sets of twins jumped up immediately.

"Amaryllis!" they all shouted.

Maybe things weren't too bad. Maybe she had gone too far. Maybe she had hit another spot of depression. Maybe the had fallen down the rabbit hole for real this time.

Maybe, maybe, maybe.


	3. Chapter 3: Buzzcut Season

**A/N: Hello my lovely readers! Happy New Years! **

**Special shout out to ChpNinjaChick, the only reviewer to chapter two! Internet cookies to you, my friend!**

**Sorry this took so long, I've had it done for a couple days, but been too lazy to post. **

**Disclaimers: on New Years? Get it drilled into your brains that I would never own the series! Sorry, it still pains me to say so!**

**Read and review! Enjoy!**

{AOTO}

_Shut my eyes to the song that plays_

_Sometimes this has a hot, sweet taste_

_-Buzzcut Season, by Lorde_

{AUTO}

The recovery of summer flew by. July was gone, the Weasley twins left, the visits in the hospital ended, the psychologist checked in less and less, she was allowed to work again.

Amaryllis was getting better.

The Hogwarts letter came.

Amaryllis and her mother went to Diagon Alley. Ran into a few classmates. Was called Mudblood. Got her books. Went back home.

{AUTO}

Of course it was her Transfiguration book. Her worst subject with her dream-turned-worst-nightmare.

Ama was flipping through her book, just like with all the others, flustered with the difficulty of the floating spells and incantations and instructions and starts and finishes and statistics.

She grew more and more angry, eventually cracking and throwing the book at the wall.

Which led to the discovery of the black leather journal underneath.

Curiosity kills.

Ama picked the book up, opening it up to see if there was a name. There seemed to be none, so she shrugged it off and decided this could be a benefit. Maybe she could add it to her collection of writing journals and notebooks.

Opening her desk drawer full of pens (her one and only true love besides her sisters), she pulled out her emerald, fine-point, thin Sharpie. She loved her Sharpies.

-CreateDestroyCreate-

**_Once upon a time_**

**_:_**

**_:_**

**_:_**

**_Willa allowed the boiling hot water to scorch her back, pounding incessantly._**

**_She knelt on the scratchy porcelain floor of the bathtub/shower._**

**_Her mud brown hair dangled, a curtain to conceal the world from her, or her from the world._**

**_Blood swirled in the rising water, dying it a diluted pink hue. The scorching water continued building up as blood continued flowing._**

**_Cold, salty tears ran down Willa's cheeks as though rain. Her body temperature was probably still freezing, but the flaming water fell and skimmed over her skin as though a thin film. Her bathing suit soaked in more burning water and cooled it again her icy skin._**

**_"300," her hoarse voice whispered, the first time she had spoken._**

**_Which was just now._**

**_Maybe they would scream. Maybe they would stare. Maybe they would-_**

**_._**

**_._**

**_._**

**_._**

**_._**

**_._**

**_._**

**_._**

**_Desdemona dragged her frilly pink step-stool over, stood on her very tip toes, and snatched the brass key down from its hiding spot above the doorframe._**

**_Curiosity was pushing her adrenaline high. Pink water was spilling out from under the door, sparking a childlike, innocent curiosity that would soon scar her for life._**

**_Desdemona inserted the key into the brass handle. Her hand fumbled to twist it in the right direction to unlock the door._**

**_"Willa, what's with the-?"_**

**_Desdemona's question hung, suspended in the air. She stared at her bleeding sister on the floor of the porcelain tub, the curtains pulled back._**

**_"Pink water?" She faintly finished, black spots dancing in her line of sight, before she tumbled backwards off the stool, an unearthly scream leaving her lips, her ears hearing the scream as though detached. Shock was settling in._**

**_Willa had killed herself._**

-CreateDestroyCreate-

Here, Ama paused to stare at the carefully crafted words, the first lines sinking into the paper, as if joining it forever. The emerald words turned lime green, then disappeared altogether.

Gone, forever.

Ama mourned her lost work. This cursed journal had stolen the words she had longed to put down for so long. The cursed journal took her precious thoughts and hid them from the artist

_Amazing work_, an invisible hand scrawled in black ink. Swirling letters that opposed her stiff ones. The review faded from the page.

_Thank you_, she hesitantly carved back.

_I'm Tom Riddle, who are you?_ The writer politely introduced.

_Ama_, she simply replied.

_Ah, a writer's identity?_

_No_, she grafted into the paper, _a nickname. My full name is too much of a burden._

Yes, of course. So is mine._ Many know me as Voldemort_, he confided.

_French for 'fly from death'. Poetic. _

Poor Ama, so innocent to the fact that she was conversing with a man who wouldn't hesitate to kill her, if given the chance or alive

They went on, messages fading way into new words. Ama could feel a weight lifted, the devil pulled from her back for the first time since-

Since Jessamyn left.

{AUTO}

Ama knew she should have been more careful, but did that matter? Days were spent conversing with Tom, her first friend to know the depths of darkness. Sure, she had Aster and Clover and Fred and George, but they understood non.

Tom knew. Tom understood. Tom was there. Tom cared. Tom listened. Tom was serious.

Tom, Tom, Tom.

Less time was spent with Aster and Clover. Terrible, Ama knew. But she would get the school year with them at Hogwarts next year, given their signs of magic. She always saw them. Tom was new, exciting. But Aster and Clover were always there.

Sure, they were all she had left. But Ama was tired of her broken family.

This family deserves some background. Or else you'll always be confused.

{AUTO}

Anaïs and Sawyer Idona married at the age of eighteen, the day after they graduated from Hogwarts. Nine months later, their oldest daughter, Jessamyn Ann Idona was born.

Jessamyn became the older sister to another girl, Mika Elizabeth Idona.

As the years went on, Aurora Louise was born a year after Mika. Then came along Ariadne Cerys a year after Aurora. The next year brought on Hyacinth Rose.

Soon came along Amaryllis Acacia. Just like the pattern we seem to have, a year passed and Calliope Marie was the youngest.

Poor family- they would suffer.

The Idonas seemed to come to a full circle, no more kids.

Two years after Calliope was born, Anaïs stayed home to take care of a sick Jessamyn while the rest went to a museum and then to a pharmacy to retrieve the eldest daughter's medication.

A gas explosion went off in the street and Amaryllis was the sole survivor. A total of fourteen people were killed. Those numbers consisted of Sawyer, Mika, Aurora, Ariadne, Hyacinth, and Calliope Idona. Six of the fourteen were from the large family. The other eight consisted of a man in his early twenties, an elderly couple, a young woman, and a group of four upcoming singers fresh from college.

The man who set off the explosion was immediately arrested and marked madman as well as a serial killer that day.

Did he know of the damage he caused? Did he know how many people were killed? Did he know of the little three year old witness? Did he know?

Eight months after the deaths, the three remaining Idonas were still recuperating, with the help of their neighbour by the name of Mrs. York, when Anaïs gave birth to a set of twins- Aster Amethyst and Clover Emerald.

Their family put on a mask of happiness from then on. The twins were very helpful in assisting Amaryllis with recovery. Anaïs focused on work and she was fine. Jessamyn, being the eldest of all the children and having acted as a caretaker for many of the younger {dead} children, had the hardest time recovering.

That November first, a year from the deaths of a majority of the family, Jessamyn ran away, leaving a note with her apologies and telling them not to look for her.

The devastation ripped through the Idonas once again.

Jessamyn was never found.

This time, Anaïs banned all talk of missing family members. Appearance took over and they were a perfect, happy family with a single mother and three children.

This lasted for nearly eleven years. Until Ama's attempted suicide.

{AUTO}


End file.
